About — Yes, It's Satire

Welcome to the Isle of Wight Candy Press, the Island's most trusted source of news that never happened.

Let's be clear up front, because our lawyers insist and because it's funnier this way: everything here is satire. We make it up. The stories, the quotes, the scandals, the swan with a heroin problem — invented, every one. Names of public figures and organisations are used in the time-honoured tradition of parody. Nobody named here has done, said, or grown the things we claim. If a story sounds real, that's the joke working, not a leak.

The Candy Press started in 2012 as a bit of fun aimed squarely at Island life — the ferries, the council, the roadworks, the seagulls with opinions. People shared it. Some people believed it. A few wrote stern letters. We framed those.

Now we're back, on our own patch at candypress.co.uk, doing what we always did: taking the news, and improving it.

If you've got a tip-off, a rumour with no basis in fact, or a classified you'd like the Island to see, send it in via Submit a Story. We read everything. We publish the good bits.

The Isle of Wight Candy Press is a work of satire and parody. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is coincidental and entirely intended as comment, criticism and comedy.